The Metro that day, starting at 6:15 AM - and every yard of the journey to the Mall - was jam-packed. And not just at Superbowl or Last-Stones-Concert-For Real-This-Time levels, but Fleeing Refugee levels. Never before have I seen such a mass of humanity. Imagine Deep Impact, but instead of mortal panic over the falling sky, everyone is grinning at one another, slapping perfect strangers on the back, as proud as they've been in years, and joining in silly chants (I say O, you say Bama, O! BAMA! O! BAMA! went one such call and response - originating from the jock faction, no doubt) You could partially decide what direction you might want to go, but for the most part, you went where the mob took you.

If I was the sort to be panicky about these things, getting out of the train station might have been a good time to have a complete melt-down. Up there with my worst fears is being caught in just such a mob once city services shut down at the End of the World. But everything was orderly - if grindingly slow.

We'd planned and planned all weekend - McFall, Kepler, Mary, Lisabeth and I - on what was the best route to take, and where to make our stand for the day. The Post assured us that non-ticketed personages such as ourselves - groundlings, if you will - would be able to see the Oath-taking or the parade; but not both. Many of the streets surrounding the Mall and Capitol were closed not only to car traffic, but pedestrians. We went with the Oath, and L'Enfant station. But the planning continued, and continued, even with no new information. When I detected speculation beginning anew on the train that morning - when a local wiseacre overheard our plans and began naysaying and revising them for us - I took quick action to close all tiresome debate.

I was dressed mostly appropriately, well aware that my Chicago-acquired immunity to cold was long gone after nearly five years in L.A. I do not have exact figures but I estimate the temperature might have been somewhere around 1000 below, not including wind chill. All I know is that a breeze nearly killed me on the train platform. So it was a shock. Earlier in the weekend we had abandoned some sight-seeing plans to go on a search for long-underwear; all of which was nearly gone, I might add, the shelves at both Target and R.E.I. having been ransacked.

So we basically were like astronauts. Everywhere we went in D.C. was a sort of extra-vehicular trip - we had to be completely sealed, and because of the crowds and the extreme unlikelihood of finding any place to stop for food / drink, we had to pack it all with us.

What a grand day it was. We found a spot very near a Jumbotron on the Mall, and in short order things were tight. Hot chocolate and dogs were fetched. There was much cheering of minor politicians, and when the cameras cut to any kind of motorcade, people began yelling.

And yes, there was some booing. Not as much as you might think, (and not at whom you might think, either - Joe Lieberman actually received the biggest negative reaction in my section. Because what was there really to do but shake your head as Cheney was rolled out in full Blofeldian attire?) and although it is certainly not decorous on such a day, it was also our right. It turns out that eight years of being told you're a liberal jackass tends to bottle it up in some people. I did not join in the Na-na-na-na hey-hey-hey good-byes, but I did very conspicuously give the Retarded Moose (outstretched hands, left thumb touching left ear, right thumb touching nose, wiggle fingers slightly) at Marine One as it took its petulant cargo back to Crawford to begin the brush-clearing season.

We were almost the whole Mall away from Ami, who was in a decidedly different class of patriot that day. (We have actually spotted her in the famous Gigapan photo) All weekend I'd received texts of the luminaries she came into contact with: Sting, Will.I.Am, Cheryl Crowe, Marisa Tomei, the Clintons, George Lucas (damn you, honey), Arianna... who am I missing? There is a satellite picture of where we stood but technology is not advanced enough to pick us out with detail.

We laughed, we teared up, we screamed, we slapped our gloves together with the delight of the day. I saw an African-American family wheeling their beaming grandmother onto the Metro - to show her something she probably hadn't thought she'd live to see. I saw about a billion cameras and cell phones. I saw friends linger in the inhuman cold to pick trash up from the frozen ground before they left. I stood in the Rotunda for the first time, and was close enough to Jefferson's books to touch them. Enormous crowds of people, and no fights or angry cops. We got home and collapsed.

Other fun on the trip: Tortoise and some of the Mekons at the Big Shoulders Ball, at Black Cat; the Burlesque show at Palace of Wonders, va-va-voom; McFall's themed days for each of us! (Kepler's: The Capitol and Folger Shakespeare Library; Mine: Sleeping late, Rock Band on XBox [It was as cold as hell outside, people, did I mention that?], a bad horror movie, and Potbellies; Mary: The Mormon Temple); our evolving Studs Terkel impression (Butcher of HOGS! Stacker of WHEAT! Rider of TRAINS!); and visiting Eastern Market and Georgetown. Fantastic time - I'll never forget it.

I look on this display of privy-based emotionality the same way I do the hero splashing his face in the sink then staring pensively at his own reflection in the mirror. WHO AM I ANYWAY?!? Folks, I just don't buy it. I'm not saying I've never wept uncontrollably in the bathroom in the second act, but I've had the good conservation sense to at least stop the water from running.

Note to people who call Governor Blagojevich crazy: All right, but if he's so crazy, then how about convicting him of something. Until that happens he may as well be the smartest politician in the world - look at what he's gotten away with.

A pledge to Time Warner cable: I will never patronize any business for which you have placed an ad banner on my DVR listings guide.

A Humiliating Episode: Landmark Theatres in Westwood is a typical corporate edifice: the home office spends millions to build another shining temple of an outpost, complete with all the gleaming corporate identifiers, branding, and point-of-purchase placements. And as they walked away a well-paid Chief Executive Someone snapped his fingers and said "You know what we forgot? STAFF! We forgot to train any staff!"

Another Executive thinks for a second, then replies. "That's OK! Having erected this beautiful store, truly a monument to our market share, why would it be additionally necessary to spend any resources on training people to run it? We'll just hire any kid off the street!"

And so they did.

A sort of lopsided emphasis pervades the entire Landmark experience - they have their kids expansively, unnecessarily introduce the movies like emcees of old, but then no one is at the concession counter to take your order. (Or, four kids are there, but no one makes eye contact) They have a sleek and gorgeous bar built right in - but no liquor license to bring a beer in the theatre. They get the best selection of independent movies on the west side - then they design their theatres with a giant light in the hallway that spills onto the screen every time the door is opened. They have movie-related books and gourmet concessions, but in one theatre the seats don't even square up with the screen. Criminy!

On Sunday Ami dressed down one of the Landmark "concierges" - not a manager, but older than the other shifty urchins, so therefore a person of some authority - over the lack of any attention at the popcorn counter. So thorough was the upbraiding - his umbrella was stripped, his bowler punched through, his carnation ripped in twain - that even our fellow patrons delighted to the tale when we related it to each other later in our seats. Truly, this man walked away with his ass in hand, most likely to the nearest ass-reattachment center.

However, we had not brought in any water, so I was then dispatched - humiliatingly - to that same counter that we had just declared unfit. I was not even allowed to turn my nose up or maintain a boycott for ten minutes before I was sent back to patronize them. The urchin at the counter didn't even bother to smirk at my weakness - she'd known what the score was. It is difficult to maintain a haughty disapproval of the same person you have just requested Milk Duds from.

As a point of interest - this reflects my actual life, in which I also don't like to talk to townspeople.

Eyes of Laura Mars. So so tacky.

The Ruins. Enjoyable at the time but it fades in memory. Laura Ramsey is perhaps at the top of the Cute list, but there is no desire to see her excessively bloodied. That's not how I roll.

21. No. Maybe if you're a fan of the blank Kevin Spacey stare and Vegas, but for me? No. Maybe I'd have been more interested in a doc about the actual story.

Young@Heart. Not a great documentary, but a pretty great one to see with family.

The General. We saw this at the Silent Movie Theatre on Fairfax - which was perfect. Everything about it was perfect.

Shine a Light. I haven't seen Last Waltz or very many music documentaries to compare this to - maybe it's more a performance film than a true documentary, anyway. In the IMAX presentation we saw, it blew us away.

The Mist. It felt overwrought and I didn't love the ending. I don't remember the short story enough to know if there was any reason given for the monsters, but I'd have preferred none.

Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay. Holy crap! I was responsible for taking people to see this, insisting that the first one had been so much fun, and how could this one miss? To those people I apologize. How quickly my hopes for these characters were dashed. It degenerated quickly into poop and gay and jackoff jokes. And ended with a big wedding confession of love, to boot. Who thought this was funny in the script stage?

Girl Boss Guerilla. I seem to be moving farther away from the bright center of the Pinky Violence universe. Reiko Ike and Miki Sugimoto in this one.

The Orphanage. Del Toro's productions are always reliably moody, and somewhat creepy. I'd like to see him explore some horror not based on children.

Iron Man. What a surprise! Thanks, Jon Favreau!

Apocalypto. The message I choose to take away from this Mel Gibson production is that religious fanaticism can destroy a society from the inside, leaving it vulnerable to external forces. What? That's not what he meant for me to...?

This movie would be lush and beautiful - actually is, although it all seems to take place at a run - and Gibson is such a strong director. He excels at immersing you in a completely foreign world, and creating identification with characters you have nothing in common with. I'd like to see him apply these talents to some non-apocalyptic fare.

The Nines. Clever! Interesting! A worthwhile VOD diversion!

The Fall. Perhaps my favorite of the year. Tarsem Singh puts his wild visual imagination in the service of a sweet, weird, dark, fantastic children's story. It's been said elsewhere, but it bears repeating that the amazing sets and locations in this movie are not CGI - just a wild, globe-trotting theatrical imagination. I would not say this is a perfect movie - but it's touching and thrilling to see.

Clerks 2. A movie that perfectly fits Kevin Smith's abilities and humor - it doesn't feel like a massive overreach. I was very happy to return to the world of Dante and Randall, and I to Smith and Rosario Dawson's credit, I actually believed the love story.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. After the recent Star Wars films, and now this film, I think I see the risks in working in sequels. When a film is an entry in a series - whether it's James Bond, Alien, Harry Potter, Jason Bourne, or Jaws - it needs to succeed not only for itself, but the others. When one is particularly bad, then it's brought the value of the entire series down.

Does that sound like an angry fan-boy talking? Who's keeping a "series" score, anyway? Does Jaws II bring down the stock of Jaws? Does Superman IV: The Quest for Peace ruin Superman: The Movie? Certainly not - but knowing that your favorite characters went on to vamp and prance needlessly, to parody or just plain repeat themselves, stays in the back of your mind.

Maybe the damage is in how a poor entry wipes away the pleasant gauze of nostalgia. After Attack of the Clones I asked myself the most sacrilegious of questions- how good WERE the Star Wars films, anyway? And after Crystal Skull I went back to Temple of Doom and Last Crusade (Never Raiders - not that one, there's no question there) and asked myself, were THESE movies as good as all that, really?

Of course the answer is not that they ALL SUCKED!!! after the originals. In my opinion the flaws I have found in the latter trilogy entries have been minor, and only discovered after multiple viewings over decades. That's a success by any definition. But rightly or wrongly, an entry like Crystal Skull in the franchise does foreground those weaker moments in the previous films - if only because it raises the question in the first place. Crystal Skull absolutely ran the Indy nostalgia account into the red.

Of course just because it's been 19 years since the last film doesn't mean 19 years' worth of effort has gone into the screenplay. Still, the bar tends to migrate upward over the years - and higher still each time one of the main players was quoted that they were just waiting for the right script.

What they shot was not worthy of the series. I would have liked to have seen a much better screenplay - AND idea - for an Indiana Jones film. I would have liked to have seen someone wrest the favorite father-son theme away from Spielberg this time around. And I would have liked - along with nearly all of fandom, it seems - for there to be no nuclear refrigerator scene. It was an embarrassing, stand-alone sequence that added nothing.

There seemed to be too many characters in the film. By the time we get to the temple at the end, even the blocking seemed awkward, there were so many people. It made it harder to develop individual characters. Compare what you knew about Belloq with what you knew about Irina, for instance. Probably the film would have been leaner and better if both Mac and Marion had been left out. I loved Marion in Raiders, of course, but here Karen Allen seems along for the ride just for the novelty of the reunion. She and Indy's bickering was actually annoying when it should have been endearing.

In the end, I'm not positive what the Crystal Skull was, or what it did. Did we ever find out why it attracted gold, and repelled giant ants? At one point Blanchett's fabulous Russian baddie seems to indicate some sort of mind control ability - which fit perfectly with the Red Scare - but then that seemed to evaporate, and Indy only needed to return the skull to the tomb. But then, as payment for the return, these aliens then... killed Irina with Absolute Knowledge? Which seems way too close to how Belloq met his end in Raiders, by the way. (Mac is then dispatched for much the same reason that Elsa went out in Last Crusade.)

And the the entire thing ends in a completely overblown special effects UFO vortex explosion - when something more subtle and creepy might have been a little more appropriate.

The movie's imagination seemed to be stalled. The filmmakers seemed stuck for what creepy-crawlie they'd subject us to. A climactic chase scene involved not one, but THREE waterfalls. (I think after one, there are diminishing returns on thrills.) The ever-unfolding temple with disappearing steps seemed like a bit of an excessive booby-trap - for the first time in Indy booby-trap history I found myself finding it a bit impractical. Indy for the first time seemed... sadly, a little geriatric.

I don't thrill to this movie the way I do other classics, but it is fantastic to see. Robert Wise's movies in the sci-fi genre (Day The Earth Stood Stilll, Andromeda Strain, Star Trek) all have a sort of reserve to them - they are not wildly dramatic like Body Snatchers or War of the Worlds. There is one man that runs screaming through the DC streets after Klaatu's saucer (His "Space-Ship") lands, but he is observed at a distance - we don't get the equivalent of that shot through a windshield of Kevin McCarthy screaming THEY'RE ALREADY HERE!!! as in Body Snatchers. Instead, Wise cuts to tableaus of gravely concerned yet unhysterical citizenry around the globe, as they ponder what the arrival of this "Space-Man" means.

The thing to love in this movie is the broad simplicity of the plot and action. All Klaatu wants is to speak to every single ruler on Earth at once. Is that so hard to do in 1951? When informed that yes, it is, a mild look of puzzled irritation shows on his face, but he leaves it to the U.S. ambassador to arrange. Later, he tries the top scientist in DC - leaving it to him to arrange a consortium of World Scientists. These Scientists have the support of the Military - until they are politely shut down. (Every transaction is very polite in the movie - the "car chase" is really just a corridor created by the Military. Even when the two soldiers are disintegrated, it's a calm transaction. In another film, Klaatu and Patricia O' Neal would fall in love - there's even a perfect opportunity, in the stopped elevator - but that would have been impolite to her current boyfriend.)

The effects are stunning, not for what but how they show something. My favorite is Gort's retrieval of Klaatu's body from the prison. A flash of light, and there's a hole in the wall - no crash or dust. The tanks and artillery melt quickly and gloriously. And there are such lovely noir shots in the film. My favorite is still Klaatu looming in the foyer of the boarding house, but I also love Gort working the control panel of the Space-Ship while Patricia O'Neal cringes in the background.

So if Klaatu is the Christ-figure (this story is somewhat of a forerunner to E.T., with the alien's death and resurrection), then what does that make Gort? I searched my memory banks for which disciple acted as Jesus Christ's "thug." Was it Matthew or Mark that stood guard outside the Last Supper and zapped the Romans when they approached? Hmm - no. Then it occurred to me - maybe Gort is God in this metaphor. Immensely strong, completely silent - he can bring someone back to life, or he can destroy whole armies with a glance. He's an infallible, unstoppable robotic Galactic Policeman (actually just one of a set) the Klaatu-people have put in place to preserve the peace in the galaxy. Yes, I think Gort may be God.

When we get to the end, the simplicity of the plot starts to sag a bit. The big message that he'd required a world-wide audience for was sound: no nukes in outer space; keep your wars to yourself. But when he goes on to describe how the people of the outer galaxy maintain peace, it all becomes a notch fascist. People of Earth, do as we have - hand over all power to a team of unstoppable super-robots! Their judgment is unquestioned and their punishment is ultimate! THAT certainly seems like a set-up for a sequel.

Now, look. I'm going to keep making these strips whether you read them or not, probably. So here's another one:

The year is not over yet of course, but this is my list of favorite films I saw in 08:

Blindness
Rachel Getting Married
Synecdoche, NY
The Fall
My Winnipeg
Tell No One
Wall-E
I Served The King of England
Slumdog Millionaire
Encounters at the End of the World

Not saying these are the best - just my favorites.

Recently I have also seen:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. There are amazing sights in the movie, especially in the opening scenes. The Elias Koteas clock-maker's prologue was amazing and touching, and I wish the entire movie had stayed in this vein. I think some will be off-put by the CGI that makes up Brad Pitt's character for the first half - the software boys still haven't resolved that less-than-human quality around the eyes, I see. But it's still extremely well done, and Pitt sells Button's endearing innocence extremely well. It's a sweet movie and I'd recommend it to anyone, though I'm not sure what it adds up to.

Mary Poppins. Re-watched for the umpteenth time Thanksgiving night. This is one of the earliest movies I remember seeing, along with Silver Streak and Spy Who Loved Me, and it made a huge impression on me. To this day it is THE Disney movie for me - moreso than any animated or live movie they did.

Dog Soldiers. Good werewolves - too bad about the story. In retrospect they seemed more interested in displaying a lot of British Commando grit than developing any part of the plot. There's lots and lots of shooting in this movie, and I don't think any single bullet accomplishes anything. Also, if they were a rag-tag group of soldiers willing to run a suicide mission, why wouldn't they agree to let one of them be turned into a werewolf, and then he turns the rest of them into werewolves, and then fight the baddies that way? Now THERE'S the story they should have used. Interesting when viewed as a run-through for Descent, and you could do worse if you're in need of a Friday Fright.

Slumdog Millionaire. A vibrant, excellent film from Danny Boyle. Right now in film schools and journals everywhere, they're writing about Boyle's use of toilets as redemptive passageways in his films.

The use of the game show questions as jumping-off spots for flashbacks was a great device, but when they piled on the duplicitous game show host plot and then flashbacks coming from another angle at the far-too-brutal police station, I began to lose track of Jamal and Salim - particularly as they got older. What was especially lost in this section was a sense that Jamal and Latika really did belong together - that finding her was what motivated him throughout the years. It certainly seemed random that she would risk angering her gangster-keeper to meet Jamal at the end. It's also possible, sadly, that the actor Dev Patel was just unable to convey Jamal's longing for her.

In the final stretch especially, it felt as if there was a rags-to-riches tale competing with a feel-good sports movie competing with a story of two young lovers kept apart by fate.

I also think the the point that life is brutal for a slumdog was adequately made without the jailhouse torture. It made for some brilliant smash-cuts at the beginning, but it was also improbable and unnecessary. Could a top contestant on a national program really just be snatched away right before the climactic episode, to be detained and tortured, and then re-inserted without explanation? Would a police inspector so willing to apply electrodes really have a change of heart? And wouldn't an accusation of cheating also implicate someone within the show?

Salim's brutality against his brother and Latika was also dealt with oddly - what he did was unforgivable, yet it did not seem to illicit much condemnation from them. The fact that he ultimately sacrificed himself to allow Latika and Jamal to escape was right, but that he'd be given so much as a smile - or used as one of Jamal's lifelines during the show?!? - after his actions was a strange oversight.

Where this movie veered into City of God territory, it lost me - but note that it's still on my list of 2008 favorites.

War, Inc. As strong as my disdain for the last administration is, it does not extend an excuse to this movie for its lazy heavy-handed attempt at lampoon. If there is a spectrum of quality for war satire films, with Catch-22 or Dr. Strangelove on the far right, War, Inc. isn't even in the visible part on the far left. I didn't believe or care about a second of this film. It seemed as if the cast and characters of Grosse Point Blank were lifted out of that much better film and pressed, groaning, into service in this one.

Quantum of Solace. Has every new Bond actor been described as "what Ian Fleming REALLY had in mind with the character?" It seems so, but it's not hard to believe with Daniel Craig. I remember being thrilled when Brosnan took over the role, and I'm just as thrilled with Craig.

What's particularly unique about Quantum is how it is a real part 2 to Casino Royale. In fact if you don't remember Casino you might need a refresher. One thing I also needed was someone to help me with who was who after it was over. I enjoyed the movie a lot, but I left wondering 1) who Vesper had been working for, 2) why everyone was so intent on Bond forgiving her, when she did in fact betray him, and 3) have all the villains we've had since Casino been a part of Quantum? I have it now (thanks to friend McFall), but it confused me without ruining the movie.

What is exemplary about these last two films is how they have maintained a single arc:can Bond, just starting out as a double-0, do what it takes to work for MI-6? Can he seduce women and not give away his heart? Can he do his duty without letting emotions get in the way? We know he'll develop into a master spy, but these films show us an unfinished Bond we've not seen before.

One of the most interesting relationships Bond has is with M, and Judi Dench has the best time of it that she's had in the previous 5 or 6 films. Their scenes are the highlights, as she and her team track him through the best cell phone ever. If they choose never to go back to the style of multi-function wrist-watches and invisible cars and stick with that cell-phone, it will be fine.

A few quibbles with it here and there: the Instantly Exploding Hotel seemed a bit of a set piece at the end; it seemed everyone knew the intimate details of Bond's inner struggle; and unless I am just slow it would be nice not to have the plot explained to me afterwards. I'd also like to see Bond's refinement include less Jason Bourne-style action as well.

Note to Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day email: Less obscure etymology cases and more words I can actually use, please. Look, my vocabulary is actually shrinking. The amount of time I spend searching for a word is increasing every day, and you're sending me "chawbacon" and "hypeathral" and "gravid." I'd be happy if you just sent me synonyms for "annoying" for a while.

Note to third-generation autoworker in Michigan: I'm in danger of losing my job, too - but I think everyone assumes I'll have to adjust and keep up with the market if I want to be employable.

Here's a comic strip I made starring Mazinga:

Seen:

Fears of the Dark. Of about five shorts (I think) the last two were good. These would be fantastic to be played individually as shorts in front of other horror films. The Rorshach interludes I could have done without, and I'd have enjoyed the "wild dogs" connective scenes more if they were actually connective.

Inland Empire. On the first viewing, and it will be my last, I don't believe there is anything here that wasn't already done in Mulholland Drive. There is a lot of movie here; I wish it had been more interesting.

Synecdoche, NY. Wildly imaginative, on an epic scale. From talking it over with others, I think you'll need to have loved Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich and Adaptation to really enjoy this, but how can you miss a Charlie Kaufman movie? He's this decade's Terry Gilliam.

Star Wars: Clone Wars. How the series has fallen. I don't mind that an entry into the series is animated - the Genndy Tartakovsky Clone Wars episodes on TV were better in some ways than some of the last three films - but the continuing story of Anakin Skywalker gets thinner and thinner. Not to get into THIS whole discussion, but certainly a major shortcoming of the last three films is that the massive battles and generals and factions were not just backdrops for interesting characters - they were the whole story. I think Star Wars fans are more interested in a post #3 Darth Vader than they are a post #2 Anakin Skywalker.

On the night of the election we went to the same bar we'd been in four years previously when we got the news. It was like returning to the spot where you'd once been attacked by a bully; you're going back just to make sure you've dispelled the bad vibes.

I was surprised how quickly it all went down three Tuesdays ago. After all the hand-wringing and gnashing of teeth, after the thousand-year campaign, the humbling phone-bank experiences... it was over just like that. I'd been primed for a long night - if not months of litigation and finally the Supreme Court giving it to McCain to save us all from a Constitutional Crisis.

I was still studying the precious electoral map trying to sort out the possibilities when the networks started to call it - and then McCain gave his concession, and then the place, as they say, went wild.

We did too. Total elation. I remember being happy to be alive on Jan 1, 2000, and that fantastic feeling of having cheered along with the entire world - but Nov 4, 2008 beats that.

I won't have many elections where my candidate is not just the least bad, but someone I REALLY like - someone smart, someone who talks like an adult, someone who - allow me to be sincere for a moment - makes me want to be a better citizen. That makes the elation all the better.

Oh, and by the way, we watched the first African-American get elected President of the United States. I'm so glad I lived to see it.

All in all, a good day to be an American. And consider me unpatriotic for saying so if you have to, but there have been many, many days in the last 8 years when I could not have said that.

But even at the height of my excitement, I don't think this means that the country has come to its senses, that we've realized our errors and will no longer be guided by the smallest part of our minds. I'm happy, but I know a part of this win just has to do with people's boredom. They are tired of the same show and they wanted something else to entertain them. The pendulum swung back the other way.

Yes, we did the right thing this time - but look how bad it had to get before we did.

And I know that it will only be a matter of time before the war, the economy - all of it - will not only be Obama's fault, but it will have ALWAYS been his fault. And just like that, they'll draw their Orwellian curtain down on reality once again.

I need context, I need answers; especially when it is a distasteful task such as calling people at home to speak on a personal matter. And the low-level Obama volunteers, who I will call Obamateers, were usually not prepared to provide context and answers.

They were hell on enthusiasm, they had that covered, but what they did not understand or care about was that I was terrified to give people incorrect polling information. What if I left a message for someone directing them to the wrong place? I'll be honest - I think the chances are high that I probably did.

(I believe if you will think about the relative chaos that has accompanied this national election - because after all, we're only #1 AMERICA U.S.A. YEAH!, so why would we be able to do a thing like hold an election with standardized rules in a way that maximizes participation - you might realize that it would be easy to give someone incorrect info. Well, I am sure I did.)

But what the Obamateers wanted from us was just pure volume. They wanted a LOT of calls. They wanted quantity, not quality. I have to have faith that this comes from hard-won election wisdom. But as the caller, I do not feel so hot about it.

The directive of my life is basically DO NOT OFFEND. My entire world sometimes seems like a vast social minefield. So calling people at home and even being called by them presents a tall personal challenge to me. How best to do it without offending?

Here's a comic strip I made starring Mazinga:

Anyway, it's 4:30 PM PST on Election Day - and I'd just like to record that for right now at this moment, there is hope and excitement, tinged with no small measure of anxiety. It's been a long time coming. It's nice to be this close to the end of such a long campaign. It will be nicer still if tomorrow I can regain a bit of confidence.

Some films that were viewed by me:

Diving Bell and the Butterfly. Lovely and well-acted and moving in a way that makes one cherish their life. I would, however, recommend this movie about the enduring spirit of a man who's lost all movement due to a stroke for a very certain mood that you might be in - personally, I mis-programmed it for a Friday night.

Toy Story 2. I imagine that the Pixar folk had so many ideas left over from Toy Story that this sequel was inevitable. The Toy movies aren't my ultimate favorite Pixars, but they are a grand double feature.

What Just Happened? Ugh. Unfortunately boring. Choose any other movie about the challenges and insanity of producing a big Hollywood production. I was never interested in any of our lead's problems in this film, and even the novelty real-life casting didn't make it work.

Talk to Me. Maybe Don Cheadle's best movie so far. I had things to do when this came on and meant to walk away several times - but ended up watching the whole thing. What's the state of the dream, Rev?!?

The Changeling. Not Clint Eastwood working at his Unforgiven or Million Dollar Baby best, but there's strong stuff here in this story of a woman put through almost as much misery as she could be in 1928 LA. Hard to believe this was the way things worked once upon a time.

Rachel Getting Married. You know I'm a fan of these one-house ensemble movies, and I'd recommend this one to anyone. Smart dialogue, beautiful, damaged people. You will feel as if you have been a guest at this family's affair, and you will want to be with your family afterwards.

Finally I resolved to wait until DVD or VOD, and the wisdom of this decision was confirmed by friend Michael, who called from the very lobby of the theatre after he'd seen it to warn that yes, it was as bad as we thought it might be. And if I happened to be in transit to the theatre myself, ABORT! ABORT!

Still, when it appeared on VOD I went for it immediately. Those previews! They called to me, with their chilling images of people mysteriously offing themselves!

And it turns out that vastly reduced expectations, along with seeing the movie in the reduced-presentation 'home' mode, DO help a Shyamalan movie along. But it doesn't change the fact that somewhere after Unbreakable, Night seems to have had some kind of stroke.

I will go out on a limb and say there is not a director alive who can be as chilling as M. Night Shyamalan. Take a look at the first 10 minutes or so of Happening: the simple set-up of people coming to a halt mid-step in the park, or walking backwards and speaking gibberish, and how that creates tension. And I challenge you to find a more awesome, dread-inspiring scene in any apocalyptic movie than the construction workers stepping off the building.

However, after the amazing opening, it's almost as if a switch goes off. It's as if Shyamalan has fallen to the same evil chemicals as his characters in the park. After those opening chills we are following the oddly earnest Mark Wahlberg around as he tries to science his way through the movie - although it's not a very rigorous science, since "unexplained act of nature" passes for an A answer in Night's worldview. Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel are not able to offer much to the film, but we will spot them this one considering the context.

Night spends most of the film explaining to us what is going on, painfully and unnecessarily. To make sure we get the point that we are killing ourselves, he lingers over the quote (falsely attributed to Einstein) that when the honeybees disappear, so do we; later he pans slowly over a newspaper headline about the murder rate in Philadelphia.

There are scenes that are so wildly miscalculated, that fall so completely flat, I do wonder if perhaps Night has had a stroke. He certainly is writing his characters as if THEY have. Wahlberg trying to use the scientific method in the middle of an assault in the field; the odd comic interlude with the plastic plant; the oddly sudden brutality of the two young boys being shot down; and sadly, anything with Deschanel. The movie is punctuated with the occasional brilliant suicide interlude - and Betty Buckley's brilliant appearance - but they don't save the movie.

There is a brilliant and creepy potential of a film embedded in Happening, one where there aren't many explanations, but that's not the film he wanted to make.

But what an interesting view into humanity to call people's homes. Most people seem highly pissed to even be answering the phone in the first place; everyone seems to have been either woken from sleep and /or intensely skeptical about any caller whatsoever. Of those that picked up, there was an equal ratio of curt 'I don't have time for this' responses, (I don't blame them), people that were for Obama but did not want to be bothered to hear my Early Voting schpiel, and people that let me get through my persuasion script.

Macbook has returned from the Apple Care Center with a shiny new logic board. Let this serve as a warning to you people! Back up your machine weekly! Get the Apple Care!

Anyway, now that Macbook has returned, so shall Mazinga. Really.

Movies seen this weekend:

W. It's probably too early for the definitive view of George W. Bush's presidency; on the other hand I don't really know what else could be said about him. Will we find out he was even less engaged than he seems to be?

Oliver Stone's movie is not the bash-fest that Republicans and conservatives probably counted on it being. I'm sure there will be complaints, but I had more sympathy for Bush during the film than I've ever had. His problems are not my problems, but - he is a person and he was obviously affected by them.

The issue with the film is that, as a story, it's not much to watch. What did Bush overcome? What did he learn? How did he change? I would argue, with as much respect that I can, that the answer to all of those questions is, 'not much.' Overcoming alcoholism is nothing to sneeze at, but from a story perspective, did it lead the character to a greater ability to lead? No, he moved from that to evangelical certainty about issues he knew nothing about, and... here we are.

The film is fascinating as a dramatization of events and figures that we know, but nothing is revealed. I suspect that's because in the actual story of the last eight years, Bush himself is not even the main character. When they make the next movie about this subject, the protagonist should be Colin Powell. Out of the lot of them, he alone seems to be more complicated than a single-minded idealogue. That he went along with them anyway is good drama.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Smart dialogue; a good romantic comedy for a matinee. If you enjoyed Simon Pegg in movies like Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, check this one out. You'll get a chance to see Megan Fox, the ever-adorable Kirsten Dunst, and beautifully oily Danny Huston. Also, why doesn't Gillian Anderson do more villains?

More from the past:

Open Water 2: Adrift. Perhaps the simplest premise for a disaster at sea movie ever. Such is the power of this idea that the day after we saw it, we made sure our own boat had the appropriate, crucial, missing piece of equipment. Perhaps there could have been more, better-written drama once they were in their predicament, but it was a chilling watch.

Note: Considering that the previous Open Water was completely unrelated and also a one-note horror, what could the premise for the next one be? Somebody gets drunk and falls off the deck of a cruise ship?

Descent, again. Holds up for a second viewing. Friend Leslie and I are working on a top ten list of horror films now. I would be surprised if this is not on it.

Bad and the Beautiful. Sometimes Robert Osborne on TCM, the best channel in the world, gets me whipped up to see a classic, then... I'm a little underwhelmed. Still, glad to have seen it. I am more of a Kirk Douglas fan every time I see him (Out of the Past is one of my favorites).

Blood on Satan's Claw. Hilarious fare from the fabulous 1970's British horror period, which as we all know means terrorized villages, big hair, and most importantly, the occasional naked bride of Dracula. No Dracula this time, but the influence of Satan does cause the lovely Linda Hayden and another random pagan women to expose themselves to evil. Tsk, tsk. You could do worse than Tivo this one if it comes around, but it's not worth the Netflix clicks.

Annie Hall. Occasionally you're not in the mood for Woody Allen, even one of his best films, and this was one of those times.

Stop-Loss. Lots of redneckery about honor vs truth, as I recall. An important subject that's probably not as effective as something like In the Valley of Elah, and not as shocking and amazing as Kimberly Peirce's earlier Boys Don't Cry. Joseph Gordon-Leavitt as usual giving a strong performance.

Also this week, my Macbook Pro went into a coma. I had planned on ranting mightily about the precious Geniuses at their precious Bars in the precious Apple Stores, but once I got to one, well, he was nice and it seemed to go OK. Well - I'll say this. The machine has not returned from the hospital yet. Stay tuned.

I WILL say that the shininess of the Apple Store itself has just about completely worn off for me. It's preposterous that you can only make a tech appointment online. And anything they have at that Store, I could get online with a better customer experience. I'm sold on Macs - just mostly done with the Apple store.

Two movies we saw last weekend:

Family Guy Presents Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story. Probably the third time we've seen it; Friend Amy was in town and we wanted some reliable laughs. If you're not into Family Guy it probably won't do anything for you, but if you are, it's a supreme example of Stewieness.

Blindness. Not so much terrifying as unsettling, but a great film. Yes, it's gray, yes it's dark, but it was not depressing or bleak. It reminded me a lot of Children of Men, minus about 30% of the apocalypto. Fantastic acting - most of it could be done on stage, it's so contained. I thought some of the violence - one particular scene - went a few steps too far, and the ending provided more of an upswing than I thought it should have. But, an A.

I think that living in the U.S. for the last few years has felt like I imagine a time-traveler to the future would feel. Only instead of looking around and marveling at all the flying wonders and miraculous gadgets, I am looking around in amazement at the complexity of outrages and various unbelievably backwards political, financial and social situations. Every day brings another revelation.

If I DID allow myself to list just one political thought for the day, it would be to note how certain factions of the Republican side are already setting the stage to loudly complain about voting fraud if Obama wins. Hence, the "ACORN" scandal.

Instead of getting into that, let's review more filims:

4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days. Ugh. No. Jump into a time machine and travel back to the most bland part of the 80s in Romania or some place where everything is nighttime and gray and lit only buzzing fluorescents. Also, illegal hotel room abortions. No. No. NO.

Waitress. Minor amusing whimsy. I wish it had been more. Kari Russell was doing a weird and interesting character in this strange slight movie.

Dexter Season 2: Our Dexter run continued straight through season two. If you're not watching because you think it's too gory, it's not. It's well-plotted with great characters.

La Vie En Rose. Wow - I'm not mad about Edith Piaf but Marion Cotillard's transformation in this movie rivals or even tops Charlize Theron in Monster. That was one well-deserved Oscar.

Sister Street Fighter. A lame addition to the girl boss kick I was on. She's cute, and she kicks ass, but - she's no Lady Snowblood.

In Bruges. So funny and then YIKES! Too much violence! Am I a fogey? No, I'm just not a fan of exploding heads.

Jumper. Minor sci-fi fun. If I could jump around in space like that, I DO think I could have a more interesting time of it than he did, though.

Alien. From whence all sci-fi has come for so long. Still #1. No matter how many times I watch it and scream for him not to, John Hurt STILL goes down there and gets himself face-hugged every time.

Chicago 10. Good doc intro to a time when people took to the streets and got arrested or bloodied when the process stopped working. I wonder how / if my views would change if I got night-sticked?

Justice League: New Frontier. I enjoyed it more than the comic. Another strong entry to DC animation.

Sister Street Fighter: Return of Sister Street Fighter. The winner only for the award of Most Redundant Subtitle for a Sequel.

Girls Rock. Yes they do. If you have a little girl, watch this movie. A great documentary about a camp for girls that teaches them rock and roll. In fact, watch it on a double bill with Jesus Camp to see two differing approaches for raising a child.